Practical tools for raising happy, healthy, intelligent, and self-determined children without breaking their spirit
How to raise a happy, healthy child is not something most parents are taught. In fact, many just stumble through the entire process, albeit with the best intentions. Consequently, it is all too common to find an unhappy state of affairs in families, with constant friction between parents and children. This is not a natural state of affairs. In fact, it can be avoided entirely.
L. Ron Hubbard developed many methods to bring out the best in a child—and its parents. These methods show you how to raise a child without breaking his spirit, how to have a child who is willing to contribute to the family, and how to help a child quickly get over the daily upsets and tribulations of life. The technology is practical, immediately applicable, and based on fundamental truths about human nature rather than outdated psychological theories.
Raising children should be a joy. And can be. In fact, it can be one of the most rewarding of all human experiences. The application of Scientology principles to the bringing up of children can ensure that they are happy, loving and productive, and that they become valued members of the societies in which they live. This is not idealistic dreaming—it is practical reality achieved by thousands of families worldwide who have applied these principles.
The fundamental insight that changes everything is this: The main problem with children is how to live with them. The adult is the problem in child raising, not the child. A good, stable adult with love and tolerance in his heart is about the best therapy a child can have. When you understand this and apply the principles LRH developed, parenting transforms from constant struggle into genuine joy.
One of L. Ron Hubbard's most revolutionary insights is deceptively simple yet profoundly transformative: Children are not dogs. They can't be trained like dogs are trained. They are not controllable items. They are, and let's not overlook the point, men and women. A child is not a special species of animal distinct from man. A child is a man or woman who has not attained full growth.
This principle has enormous implications. If children are people, then any law which applies to the behavior of men and women applies to children. How would you like to be pulled and hauled and ordered about and restrained from doing whatever you wanted to do? You'd resent it. The only reason a child "doesn't" resent it is because he's small. You'd half murder somebody who treated you, an adult, with the orders, contradiction and disrespect given to the average child.
The child doesn't strike back because he isn't big enough. Instead, he gets your floor muddy, interrupts your nap, destroys the peace of the home. This is revenge. If he had equality with you in the matter of rights, he wouldn't need this revenge. This "revenge" is standard child behavior—not because children are naturally bad, but because they are fighting for their rights as people.
When you truly understand that your child is a person deserving the same respect you would give an adult, your entire approach to parenting changes. You communicate differently. You explain rather than command. You respect his decisions about his own possessions and time. You treat his opinions and feelings as valid rather than dismissing them because he's "just a child."
This doesn't mean children don't need guidance or that parents have no authority. It means the guidance comes through communication and understanding rather than domination and control. It means authority is earned through love and respect rather than imposed through force and fear. The result is a child who cooperates willingly because he understands and agrees, not because his spirit has been broken into fearful compliance.
Self-determinism is that state of being wherein the individual can or cannot be controlled by his environment according to his own choice. In that state, the individual has self-confidence in his control of the material universe and other people. This is not arrogance or domination—it is the natural confidence of a person who knows he can handle his environment and make good decisions.
For children, self-determinism is absolutely crucial. A child has a right to his self-determinism. You might say that if he is not restrained from pulling things down on himself, running into the road, etc., he'll be hurt. But what are you as an adult doing to make that child live in rooms or an environment where he can be hurt? The fault is yours, not his, if he breaks things. The solution is to create a safe environment where the child can explore and make decisions without serious danger, not to constantly control and restrain him.
The sweetness and love of a child is preserved only so long as he can exert his own self-determinism. You interrupt that and to a degree you interrupt his life. This is not an exaggeration. When you constantly override a child's decisions, control his movements, dictate what he does with his possessions, and prevent him from making choices, you are literally interrupting his life force, his natural enthusiasm, his love and affection.
There are only two reasons why a child's right to decide for himself has to be interrupted: the fragility and danger of his environment, and you. For you work out on him the things that were done to you, regardless of what you think. Your own childhood experiences of being controlled create patterns you unconsciously repeat with your own children unless you become aware and handle them.
There are two courses you can take. First, give the child leeway in an environment he can't hurt and which can't badly hurt him and which doesn't greatly restrict his own space and time. Create safe spaces where he can explore, make decisions, and learn from natural consequences without serious danger. Second, through Scientology services, you can clean up your own aberrations (departures from rational thought or behavior) to a point where your tolerance equals or surpasses his lack of education in how to please you.
The fundamental truth is this: A man is as sane and safe as he is self-determined. This applies equally to children. A self-determined child is confident, capable, responsible, and genuinely well-behaved because he understands consequences and makes good decisions. A child whose self-determinism has been crushed becomes either rebellious and destructive, or apathetic and dependent. Neither outcome serves the child or society.
One of the most challenging yet transformative principles of LRH's parenting technology concerns children's possessions: When you give a child something, it's his. It's not still yours. Clothes, toys, quarters, whatever he has been given must remain under his exclusive control. This principle tests every parent's willpower, but it is essential to raising a self-determined, responsible child.
So he tears up his shirt, wrecks his bed, breaks his fire engine. It's none of your business. How would you like to have somebody give you a Christmas present and then tell you, day after day thereafter, what you are to do with it and even punish you if you failed to care for it the way the donor thinks you should? You'd wreck that donor and ruin that present. You know you would. The child wrecks your nerves when you do it to him. That's revenge.
He cries. He pesters you. He breaks your things. He "accidentally" spills his milk. And he wrecks the possession on purpose about which he is so often cautioned. Why? Because he is fighting for his own self-determinism, his own right to own and make his weight felt on his environment. This "possession" is another channel by which he can be controlled. So he has to fight the possession and the controller.
This creates a paradox that confuses many parents. You give the child something to make him happy, then you tell him how to use it "properly," and he destroys it. You think he's ungrateful or destructive by nature. But the truth is he's fighting for his freedom. The possession has become a tool of control rather than a gift of love. When you constantly interfere with how he uses his possessions, you're not protecting the item—you're using it to control the child.
The solution seems counterintuitive but works remarkably well in practice: Freedom for the child means freedom for you. Abandoning the possessions of the child to their fate means eventual safety for the child's possessions. When children have true ownership without interference, they learn responsibility through natural consequences. The toy that breaks because he was careless teaches him more than a hundred lectures ever could. The shirt he ruins means he has fewer nice shirts to wear, which he notices and learns from.
What terrible willpower is demanded of a parent not to give constant streams of directions about a child's possessions! What agony to watch his things going to ruin! What upset to refuse to order how he uses his own belongings! But it has to be done if you want a well, a happy, a careful, a beautiful, an intelligent child. The short-term pain of watching him make mistakes with his possessions leads to long-term gain of a responsible, self-determined individual who genuinely takes care of his things because he understands their value, not because he fears punishment.
In practice, this means when you give your child a toy, you don't then tell him he can only play with it at certain times, in certain ways, or in certain places. When you give him clothes, you don't dictate how he wears them or punish him for getting them dirty. When you give him money, you don't control how he spends it. You give truly, with no strings attached, and let natural consequences teach the lessons. This builds genuine responsibility far more effectively than control ever could.
Children with controlling parents face a profound anxiety that most adults never recognize or understand. This anxiety can dominate the child's mental and emotional life for his entire childhood and significantly damage his development. Understanding this anxiety problem is crucial to understanding why control-based parenting fails and why LRH's approach succeeds.
The child's parents are survival entities. They mean food, clothing, shelter, affection. The child wants to be near them. He wants to love them, naturally, being their child. This is the child's natural state—love and affinity for his parents, desire to be close to them, dependence on them for survival needs.
But on the other hand, when parents are controlling, they become nonsurvival entities. The child's whole being and life depend upon his rights to use his own decision about his movements and his possessions and his body. Parents who seek to interrupt this out of the mistaken idea that a child is an idiot who won't learn unless "controlled" become enemies to the child's self-determinism, his very life force.
Here is the anxiety: "I love them dearly. I also need them. But they mean an interruption of my ability, my mind, my potential life. What am I going to do about my parents? I can't live with them. I can't live without them. Oh, dear, oh, dear!" There he sits running this problem through his head. That problem, that anxiety, will be with him for eighteen years, more or less. And it will half wreck his life.
This anxiety manifests in all the behaviors parents complain about. The child who won't listen. The child who rebels against every instruction. The child who seems to deliberately do the opposite of what you ask. The child who breaks things, makes messes, interrupts, and generally creates chaos. These are not signs of a bad child—they are signs of a child fighting for his life, his self-determinism, against parents he simultaneously loves and needs.
The solution is to resolve the anxiety by removing its cause. When you stop controlling the child—when you give him his freedom, his possessions, his right to make decisions—the anxiety disappears. He no longer has to fight you because you're no longer his enemy. He can simply love you and be near you without the constant internal conflict. The rebellious, difficult behaviors vanish because their cause is gone.
Parents often fear that giving children freedom will result in chaos. The opposite is true. The chaos comes from the child's fight against control. Freedom resolves the anxiety, eliminates the need for rebellion, and allows the child's natural goodness and intelligence to emerge. You end up with a well-ordered, well-trained, social child who is thoughtful of you and, very important to you, a child who loves you.
Much of modern parenting is based on psychological theories that are fundamentally false. Understanding why these theories are wrong and what the truth actually is transforms your entire approach to raising children. L. Ron Hubbard identified the core false postulates of psychology and replaced them with truth based on observation of actual human behavior.
The reason people started to confuse children with dogs and started training children with force lies in the field of psychology. The psychologist worked on "principles" as follows: (1) Man is evil. (2) Man must be trained into being a social animal. (3) Man must adapt to his environment.
As these postulates aren't true, psychology doesn't work. And if you ever saw a wreck, it's the child of a professional psychologist. These false beliefs lead to control-based, punishment-focused parenting that breaks children's spirits and creates the very problems it claims to solve. If man is evil, he must be controlled. If he must be trained into being social, force is justified. If he must adapt to environment, his self-determinism must be crushed. All wrong.
Attention to the world around us instead of to texts somebody thought up after reading somebody's texts shows us the fallacy of psychology's postulates. The actuality is quite opposite the previous beliefs. The truth lies in this direction:
Man is basically good. This is not idealistic wishful thinking—it is observable fact. Children are naturally loving, curious, enthusiastic, and cooperative. They become difficult only when their self-determinism is interrupted and they must fight for their rights. The "terrible twos" and teenage rebellion are not natural developmental stages—they are responses to control and suppression.
Only by severe aberration can man be made evil. Severe training drives him into nonsociability. The child who is constantly controlled, punished, and denied his self-determinism becomes rebellious, destructive, and antisocial—not because this is his nature, but because he is fighting for his life against suppression. Remove the suppression and the antisocial behavior disappears.
Man must retain his personal ability to adapt his environment to him to remain sane. This is the opposite of psychology's belief that man must adapt to his environment. A sane person can change his environment to suit his needs and goals. An insane person is at the effect of his environment, unable to control or change it. Teaching children to adapt to environment rather than adapt environment to themselves creates dependency and helplessness.
A man is as sane and safe as he is self-determined. This is the fundamental truth that underlies all of LRH's parenting technology. Self-determinism equals sanity, safety, capability, and happiness. Control equals insanity, danger, helplessness, and misery. The entire goal of parenting should be to preserve and strengthen the child's self-determinism, not to break it.
When you base your parenting on these truths rather than psychology's false postulates, everything changes. You trust your child's basic goodness rather than assuming he's evil and must be controlled. You preserve his ability to adapt his environment rather than forcing him to adapt to it. You strengthen his self-determinism rather than breaking it. The result is a child who is genuinely well-behaved, not through fear of punishment, but through understanding and natural goodness.
The central challenge of parenting is this: The main consideration in raising children is the problem of training them without breaking them. You want to raise your child in such a way that you don't have to control him, so that he will be in full possession of himself at all times. Upon that depends his good behavior, his health, his sanity. But how do you actually do this in practice?
Doubtless, some people were so poorly raised they think control is the ne plus ultra (highest point) of child raising. If you want to control your child, simply break him into complete apathy and he'll be as obedient as any hypnotized half-wit. If you want to know how to control him, get a book on dog training, name the child Rex and teach him first to "fetch" and then to "sit up" and then to bark for his food. You can train a child that way. Sure you can. But it's your hard luck if he turns out to be a blood-letter (a person who causes bloodshed).
Breaking a child means crushing his self-determinism, his natural enthusiasm, his love and affection, his intelligence and capability. It means using force, punishment, and control to create obedience through fear rather than understanding. The broken child is apathetic, dependent, unable to think for himself, and either robotically obedient or secretly rebellious. This is not a successful outcome—it is a tragedy.
Training without breaking means guiding the child's development while preserving his spirit, enthusiasm, and self-determinism. It means helping him understand consequences, develop skills, and make good decisions—not through force, but through communication, example, and natural consequences. The trained child who has not been broken is confident, capable, genuinely well-behaved, and loving.
How do you train without breaking in daily life? Here are the key practices:
Create a safe environment. Give the child leeway in an environment he can't hurt and which can't badly hurt him. Childproof your home so he can explore without constant "no" and restrictions. This allows him to make decisions and learn from natural consequences without serious danger.
Communicate as with an adult. Explain why things are as they are. Help him understand consequences. Treat his questions and opinions with respect. Don't just command—communicate and help him understand. This builds genuine understanding rather than robotic obedience.
Allow true ownership. When you give him something, it's his. Don't interfere with how he uses his possessions. Let natural consequences teach the lessons. This builds responsibility far more effectively than control.
Permit a child to sit on your lap. He'll sit there, contented. Now put your arms around him and constrain him to sit there. Do this even though he wasn't even trying to leave. Instantly, he'll squirm. He'll fight to get away from you. He'll get angry. He'll cry. Recall now, he was happy before you started to hold him. This simple experiment demonstrates the principle: constraint creates rebellion. Freedom creates cooperation.
Work on yourself. Through Scientology services, you can clean up your own aberrations to a point where your tolerance equals or surpasses his lack of education in how to please you. Much of the difficulty in parenting comes from your own unhandled issues from childhood being restimulated by your child's behavior.
Exercise tremendous willpower. What terrible willpower is demanded of a parent not to give constant streams of directions to a child! What agony to watch his possessions going to ruin! What upset to refuse to order his time and space! But it has to be done if you want a well, a happy, a careful, a beautiful, an intelligent child!
The transition period can be difficult if you've already been controlling your child. In mid-flight, you change your tactics. You try to give him his freedom. He's so suspicious of you he will have a terrible time trying to adjust. The transition period will be terrible. But at the end of it you'll have a well-ordered, well-trained, social child, thoughtful of you and, very important to you, a child who loves you.
South African parents face unique challenges that make effective parenting technology even more crucial. Families across the nation deal with poverty, violence exposure, education crisis, family breakdown, and economic stress. In this context, LRH's parenting principles provide practical solutions that work regardless of economic circumstances.
Poverty and economic stress affect millions of South African families, creating constant pressure on parents and limiting resources available for children. Violence exposure from high crime rates, domestic violence, and community conflict traumatizes children and parents alike. The education crisis with 70% youth unemployment means many children see no path to a better future.
Family breakdown with high rates of single-parent households and absent fathers leaves many children without stable family structures. HIV/AIDS has created a generation of orphans and child-headed households. Substance abuse in communities exposes children to drugs and alcohol from an early age. Lack of parenting education means many parents simply repeat the patterns they experienced, whether effective or not.
LRH's parenting technology provides specific solutions to these challenges. Self-determinism principles help children develop confidence and capability despite difficult circumstances. When a child is self-determined, he can handle challenges that would overwhelm a controlled, dependent child. This is crucial in South Africa where children often face adult-level challenges early in life.
Understanding that children are people deserving respect counters cultural practices that may diminish children or treat them as property. This principle is particularly important in communities where corporal punishment and authoritarian parenting are common. Treating children with the same respect you'd give an adult creates strong, confident individuals rather than broken, fearful ones.
Communication and affinity principles strengthen family bonds even under stress. When economic pressures create tension, the ability to communicate effectively and maintain affinity prevents family breakdown. These skills can be learned and applied immediately, regardless of financial resources.
The Children Course provides free parenting education where resources are scarce. Any parent in South Africa can walk into a Church of Scientology and receive world-class parenting education at no cost. This democratizes access to effective parenting technology regardless of economic status.
Allowing children to work and contribute builds competence and morale in families facing economic hardship. When children are allowed to contribute meaningfully to the family (not exploited, but genuinely contributing according to their ability), they develop pride, capability, and purpose. This is particularly valuable in South African families where children often must take on responsibilities early.
Understanding the anxiety problem helps parents avoid creating additional stress through control. South African children already face external stressors from poverty, violence, and instability. When parents add internal stress through control and suppression, it becomes overwhelming. Giving children their freedom eliminates this internal conflict, allowing them to handle external challenges more effectively.
Focus on natural goodness rather than punishment creates positive family environments even in challenging communities. When you believe your child is basically good and treat him accordingly, you create a home environment that is a refuge from external chaos rather than an additional source of stress. This is invaluable in South African communities where children may face violence, crime, and instability outside the home.
The Children Course is a comprehensive, practical course that teaches you L. Ron Hubbard's complete parenting technology. The course is completely free and takes approximately 6-7 hours to complete at your own pace. You'll receive hands-on training with supervision from a trained course supervisor, ensuring you truly understand and can apply the principles.
• What children need most from their parents to thrive and develop into confident, capable individuals
• Why children get angry and how to swiftly heal their upsets, restoring harmony to your family
• How to raise a child without breaking his spirit while still providing guidance and training
• How to have a child who willingly contributes to the family, not through force but through understanding
• Exact tools you can use immediately to handle daily parenting challenges
• The principles of self-determinism and how to preserve it in your children
• How to handle possessions and ownership to build responsibility
• Communication techniques that work with children of all ages
• Duration: 6-7 hours (self-paced, complete in one day or over multiple visits)
• Location: In-person at any Church of Scientology in South Africa
• Cost: Completely free of charge
• Materials: Booklet "Children" provided
• Supervision: Trained course supervisor available to help you
• Certificate: Issued upon successful completion
• Who Can Take It: Parents, expecting parents, teachers, childcare professionals, anyone who works with children
Most parents receive no formal training in how to raise children. They stumble through with good intentions but without the knowledge and tools needed for success. The Children Course provides that knowledge and those tools in a practical, immediately applicable format. Thousands of parents worldwide have taken this course and transformed their family relationships. The technology works because it's based on fundamental truths about human nature, not outdated psychological theories. And it's completely free—no cost, no obligation, just practical help for parents who want to do better.
Nomsa was a single mother in Soweto raising three children while working two jobs. She was exhausted, stressed, and constantly fighting with her children about homework, chores, and behavior. After taking the Children Course at the Church of Scientology Johannesburg, she completely changed her approach. She stopped trying to control every aspect of her children's lives and instead gave them ownership of their possessions and decisions. She created a safe space in their small home where they could make choices and learn from consequences. The transformation was remarkable. Her 10-year-old son, who had been failing at school, started taking responsibility for his homework without being nagged. Her 7-year-old daughter, who had been constantly breaking toys, began taking care of her things. Her teenage son, who had been rebellious and angry, became cooperative and helpful. Nomsa says, "I thought giving them freedom would create chaos. Instead, it created peace. They're happier, I'm happier, and our home is finally a place of love instead of constant fighting."
Johan and Annelie Botha had four children aged 3 to 14 and were at their wit's end. Their home was constant chaos with fighting, crying, broken toys, and rebellious behavior. They had tried every parenting book and technique they could find, but nothing worked. When they took the Children Course together, they realized they had been creating the very problems they were trying to solve. They were controlling every aspect of their children's lives—what they wore, how they played with toys, when they could eat, where they could go. The children were in constant rebellion. After completing the course, Johan and Annelie made dramatic changes. They gave each child true ownership of their possessions and space. They stopped giving constant directions and instead communicated with respect. They created safe areas where the children could make decisions without serious consequences. Within three months, their home was transformed. The fighting stopped. The children became cooperative, responsible, and genuinely helpful. Their 14-year-old daughter, who had been sullen and withdrawn, became open and affectionate. Their 8-year-old twin boys, who had been constantly fighting, became best friends. Annelie says, "We thought we were good parents because we were so involved and controlling. We learned we were actually damaging our children. Now we're truly good parents because we respect them as people."
Thandi was a Grade 2 teacher in Khayelitsha, Cape Town, with a classroom of 40 students from challenging backgrounds. Many came from homes affected by poverty, violence, and substance abuse. Classroom management was a constant struggle with disruptive behavior, fighting, and children who seemed unable to focus or follow instructions. After taking the Children Course, Thandi applied LRH's principles in her classroom. She started treating her 7-year-old students as people deserving respect rather than as problems to be controlled. She gave them ownership of their school supplies and learning materials. She communicated with them as she would adults, explaining why things were important rather than just commanding obedience. She created safe spaces in the classroom where they could make choices and learn from natural consequences. The results were extraordinary. Disruptive behavior decreased by 80%. Academic performance improved dramatically with students who had been failing now passing. Parents reported that their children were more confident, responsible, and helpful at home. The principal was so impressed that she asked Thandi to train other teachers in the methods. Thandi says, "I thought children from difficult backgrounds needed more control, more structure, more discipline. I learned they needed the opposite—more freedom, more respect, more trust. When I gave them that, they blossomed."
Sipho was repeating the harsh, controlling parenting he had experienced as a child. He used corporal punishment, strict rules, and constant criticism with his two sons aged 9 and 12. His relationship with them was one of fear and resentment rather than love and affection. His wife begged him to change, but he believed "spare the rod, spoil the child" and that children needed to be broken into obedience. After his 12-year-old son ran away from home for three days, Sipho's wife insisted he take the Children Course. Sipho was skeptical but desperate. What he learned shocked him. He realized he had been damaging his sons in the same way he had been damaged. He understood that his harsh treatment was creating the very rebelliousness and disrespect he was trying to prevent. Sipho made a complete change. He stopped corporal punishment entirely. He started communicating with his sons with respect and explanation. He gave them ownership of their possessions and decisions. He worked on his own anger and control issues through Scientology auditing. The transformation took time because his sons were deeply suspicious of the change, but within six months, Sipho had the loving relationship with his sons he had always wanted but never known how to create. His older son, who had been failing at school and getting into fights, became a top student and peer mediator. His younger son, who had been withdrawn and fearful, became confident and outgoing. Sipho says, "I thought I was being a strong father by being harsh and controlling. I learned I was being a weak father who was damaging my children. Now I'm truly strong because I have their love and respect, not their fear."
The main principle is training children without breaking them. L. Ron Hubbard taught that you want to raise your child in such a way that you don't have to control him, so that he will be in full possession of himself at all times. Upon that depends his good behavior, his health, and his sanity. This means preserving the child's self-determinism—his ability to make his own decisions and control his own life—while providing guidance and support. The goal is not to create an obedient robot, but to raise a confident, capable, self-determined individual who makes good decisions because he understands consequences, not because he fears punishment.
Scientology fundamentally rejects psychology's view that children are a different species requiring training like animals. LRH taught that a child is not a special species distinct from man—a child is a man or woman who has not attained full growth. Any law which applies to the behavior of adults applies to children. This means children deserve the same respect, dignity, and rights as adults. Psychology's false postulates (man is evil, must be trained into being social, must adapt to environment) are replaced with truth: man is basically good, only severe aberration makes man evil, severe training drives nonsociability, and man must retain ability to adapt his environment to remain sane. This fundamental difference in viewpoint leads to completely different parenting approaches.
Self-determinism is that state of being wherein the individual can or cannot be controlled by his environment according to his own choice. In that state, the individual has self-confidence in his control of the material universe and other people. For children, self-determinism is crucial because a child's sweetness and love is preserved only so long as he can exert his own self-determinism. When you interrupt that, you interrupt his life. A self-determined child makes his own decisions, controls his own possessions, and learns from natural consequences rather than arbitrary punishment. This builds confidence, responsibility, and genuine good behavior based on understanding rather than fear. As LRH taught: A man is as sane and safe as he is self-determined. This applies equally to children.
When you give a child something, it's his—not still yours. Clothes, toys, money, whatever he has been given must remain under his exclusive control. If he tears up his shirt, wrecks his bed, breaks his fire engine, it's none of your business. This principle is difficult for parents but essential. When you constantly tell a child what to do with his possessions, you're using those possessions as a channel to control him. The child then has to fight both the possession and the controller, leading to deliberate destruction and rebellion. Freedom for the child means freedom for you. Abandoning the possessions of the child to their fate means eventual safety for the child's possessions. When children have true ownership without interference, they learn responsibility through natural consequences and actually take better care of their things.
Children with controlling parents face a profound anxiety that can last their entire childhood: 'I love my parents dearly. I also need them for survival—food, clothing, shelter, affection. But they interrupt my ability, my mind, my potential life by controlling my decisions, movements, and possessions. What am I going to do? I can't live with them. I can't live without them. Oh dear, oh dear!' This anxiety sits in the child's head for eighteen years or more and can significantly damage his life. The child wants to be near his parents and love them naturally, but simultaneously must fight them as enemies to his self-determinism. This creates the rebellious, difficult behavior parents complain about—it's not the child's nature, but his response to being controlled. Giving the child his freedom resolves this anxiety entirely.
Scientology parenting focuses on understanding and natural consequences rather than arbitrary punishment or control. Instead of breaking a child into obedient apathy through force, you create an environment where the child can't hurt himself and which can't badly hurt him, giving him leeway to make decisions and learn from outcomes. Discipline comes through communication, helping the child understand why certain actions have certain consequences, not through domination. When a child does something harmful, you explain the impact on others and help him understand, rather than simply punishing. The goal is to raise a child who behaves well because he understands and agrees, not because he fears punishment. This creates genuine ethics and responsibility rather than robotic obedience that collapses when authority is absent.
Training without breaking means guiding a child's development while preserving his spirit, enthusiasm, and self-determinism. In practice, this means: (1) Giving the child ownership and control of his possessions without interference, (2) Allowing the child to make age-appropriate decisions and learn from natural consequences, (3) Creating a safe environment where exploration won't cause serious harm, (4) Communicating with the child as you would an adult, with respect and explanation rather than arbitrary commands, (5) Avoiding constant streams of directions and corrections, (6) Trusting the child's natural intelligence and goodness rather than assuming he's inherently bad or stupid, (7) Working on your own aberrations so your tolerance matches his lack of experience. The result is a child who is confident, responsible, loving, and genuinely well-behaved because he understands and chooses good behavior, not because his spirit has been broken into fearful compliance.
South African families face unique challenges including poverty, violence exposure, education crisis, family breakdown, and economic stress. Scientology parenting technology provides practical solutions: (1) Self-determinism principles help children develop confidence and capability despite difficult circumstances, (2) Understanding that children are people deserving respect counters cultural practices that may diminish children, (3) Communication and affinity principles strengthen family bonds even under stress, (4) The Children Course provides free parenting education where resources are scarce, (5) Allowing children to work and contribute builds competence and morale in families facing economic hardship, (6) Understanding the anxiety problem helps parents avoid creating additional stress through control, (7) Focus on natural goodness rather than punishment creates positive family environments even in challenging communities. These principles work regardless of economic circumstances and actually become more valuable in difficult situations.
The Children Course is a free Scientology Life Improvement Course available at any Church of Scientology in South Africa. The course takes approximately 6-7 hours to complete at your own pace and covers practical methods for raising happy, healthy, intelligent children based on L. Ron Hubbard's technology. You'll learn what children need most from parents, why children get angry and how to heal upsets swiftly, how to raise a child without breaking his spirit, how to have a willing contributor to the family, and exact tools you can use immediately. The course uses the booklet 'Children' and includes supervision from a trained course supervisor. Upon completion, you receive a certificate. The course is completely free and open to parents, expecting parents, teachers, childcare professionals, and anyone who works with children. Visit any Church of Scientology in South Africa (Johannesburg North, Johannesburg, Pretoria, Cape Town, Durban, or Port Elizabeth) to start the course.
Yes, absolutely. LRH's parenting principles are based on fundamental truths about human nature that apply regardless of culture, era, or economic circumstances. In fact, they may be even more valuable in modern South Africa where families face multiple stressors. The principles of self-determinism, respect for children as people, and training without breaking create strong, capable children who can navigate challenging environments successfully. South African parents using these principles report children who are more confident, responsible, and resilient despite exposure to poverty, violence, or instability. The technology works because it addresses the actual nature of children rather than cultural assumptions or outdated psychological theories. Thousands of South African families have successfully applied these principles across all economic levels, cultures, and circumstances. The key is understanding and applying the principles consistently, which the Children Course teaches in practical, actionable ways.
Transform your family relationships by learning and applying L. Ron Hubbard's parenting technology. Whether you're a parent struggling with daily challenges, an expecting parent wanting to start right, or a professional working with children, the Children Course provides practical tools you can use immediately.
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